Jesse Spears

Jesse Spears is tearing tickets, making popcorn, and posting an average 1.6 times per day on the sweetest blog you’ve ever seen: http://carnageknockout.blogspot.com. Interview by Drew Denny.What’s your favorite Guns ‘n’ Roses song? Oh my God, probably ‘Estranged’ or ‘You Could be Mine.’ That’s a hard question! You know that song that goes, ‘Turn around bitch / I got a use for you / besides you ain’t got nothin’ better to do and I’m bored!’? My friend Beau and I changed it to ‘Turn around braids / I got a use for you / besides I ain’t got nothin’ better to do and you’re bald!’ I really want to meet Axl and say that to him because he’s got braids now, you know? And he’s old. I think he might get mad. But that was mean of him to say in the first place so… Are you a fan?My dad got me into them when I was little.Really? My parents were more into X and the Dead Kennedys and Elvis Costello. They thought Guns ‘n’ Roses were jerks. So when I liked them, I really liked them. Because it was such a wrong thing for me to do! They weren’t punks at all.What’s your favorite plant?Impossible question! All of them. I like cacti. And trees. Pineapples! I’d bet all the money in the world they talk to each other. All the money made out of plants—none of that metal money.When did you get into cars?I’ve always been into cars. As a kid I loved toy cars that had doors that opened. I like miniatures that look like real things. Like toy cars with trunks that have stuff in them. If the doors don’t open, it’s worth nothing.What about the rickshaws? And the scooters?The rickshaws and the scooters are the most important thing! The paint jobs are amazing! My dad’s been all over—his truck is painted like that. It’s more like Day of the Dead mixed with rickshaw style. He showed me all that stuff. I wanna go to places where people paint their vehicles like that. I went to Vietnam, and the paint jobs had really cool colors, but they weren’t as tricked out as rickshaws in India.But the scooters are pretty crazy in Vietnam.Yeah! You see a family on a moped with all the kids and the baby, and the baby’s not wearing a helmet. But when they were babies, they didn’t wear helmets. And now they have their own babies. So I don’t know. I saw a bad accident when I was there. A scooter and some stuff piled up—and legs sticking out. I was thinking I should paint my car like that, but I don’t want to stand out. I don’t have car insurance. And I don’t wanna be associated with hippies.How long have you been vegan?Nine years. Meat’s not even a food to me anymore. I decided to be vegetarian when I was 7 after my dad showed me and my brother this video. He thought we should know about all that stuff even though he wasn’t vegetarian. My parents never really cooked meat, but I had meatballs and stuff at my nana’s house before I became vegetarian. I tried to join Green Peace then, but they wouldn’t let me in cause I wasn’t 18.You tried to join Green Peace when?When I was 7. But I saw them today, and you know… I don’t like how they call it ‘THE environment’ like it’s some weird thing that’s on another planet instead of ‘our environment,’ like everything around us all the time.Where were you born?In Pasadena. We moved around. We lived at 6th and Main when I was in 2nd grade, like ‘92 during the riots. I remember driving and trash cans were on fire. I remember watching TV and not getting what was going on but knowing it was gnarly. I was just really excited that people had fires on the sidewalk! It was real. And when real stuff happens, like earthquakes, when catastrophes happen, they make all the other stuff not matter—the stuff that shouldn’t matter. I feel like when I was a kid, the economy was good and things were so good, you could get numb—like, you’re a kid and you don’t have any worries. So the riots and things like that were important. I’m glad I experienced those things. I hope that doesn’t sound fucked up. I didn’t enjoy them, like, as a spectacle. Those things, they’re like wake-up calls. Like, ‘Wake up! Appreciate your life!’What do you think about Disneyland?I don’t like amusement parks. My mom and dad make sets and stuff for the rides and floats, so I grew up around all that behind-the-scenes stuff, but I don’t like waiting in line. Or being around so many people. I’d rather just go to the beach. I used to be anti-Disney and anti-Disneyland, but I really like Mickey Mouse and all those old cartoons. It’s like cartoons are moving backwards. I mean, there’s a bunch of good shit going on, but the mainstream shit blows. It’s not the same. My favorite old cartoons are the ones where all the seasons are changing: Old Man Winter comes out and chases away the flowers and then the Sun comes out and chases him away. Those are so good. But I’m definitely not into the princess thing. It’s really fucked up! And why does someone always have to die? What do you think about Disneyland?I’ve never been there, actually.What?! You mean you never had no churro?Where do you work?I work at a movie theater. I sell tickets, do popcorn, tear tickets—those are the three jobs I do. It rotates everyday, so you do something different. Concession starts to suck cause you have to make so much popcorn and fill peoples’ Diet Coke with no ice. Do you like Diet Coke? It’s gross! It’s like water but they made it bad. Like they poisoned the water and then they sell it. Yuck. But I like my job. It’s the best minimum-wage job you can have.Some of your friends have been getting a lot of press lately—Abe Vigoda, Mika Miko—is that cool?Yeah. It’s fun, but I’m kinda burnt out on going to so many shows. Like oh my God—I loooove them. They’re awesome! But I think I need to stop going out to see other people do their stuff and stay home and draw severed dog heads all day, you know? I have to work on my own stuff now.Do you know any good jokes?I know how to write jokes, but not tell them. Did you see my picture? For this interview? It’s funny cause I don’t smoke weed, and in the picture I look really stoned and there’s all this fruit and dessert. I’m not straight edge, but I don’t smoke weed that much because I get really thirsty and hungry. I’m already like that all the time, so what’s the point? I have a drink every once and a while, and I smoke weed every couple months, but I don’t do any drugs or do anything very much at all because it hurts my face. I mean, I have rosacea, so when I drink, my face really hurts. But it’s fun, you know? I see why people do it.Do you have a garden? Or pets?I’m not good at taking care of things. I don’t think I could be that responsible to take care of another life. If I had a house, I would plant a bunch of plants and just let them go wild.